I was in a Walgreens in Greenville, NC. There was a guy who looked remarkably like Gary Busey kneeling on the floor in a pile of talcum powder, grabbing fistfuls up and rubbing them under his nose and sniffing it loudly. I think it might have actually been Gary Busey.
Freshman in college, 30 years ago. Sitting in the student union having a burger at night. Some guy comes and talks to me for a while. We seem to get along. I don’t remember what we talked about. Then he leaves and says he was going to kill himself tonight but had a chat with me and decided not to.
Are you sure it wasn’t future you?
I was working in a grocery store and a customer told me I looked like a Russian revolutionary. He then clarified it was a good thing. That was close to 20 years ago and I’ve still have no idea what revolutionist I looked like, but I do still wonder.
I was at a hotel bar and noticed a few men look the same way, I followed their gaze to make eye contact with a striking young woman who had just walked in. She smiled at me and walked over to chat me up.
Now, I realized as many of you may have guessed, that she was working. And I let her know my name wasn’t john as politely as I could. But she looked at all the dudes in that room and decided she’d hate to fuck me the least, and it’s one of the best complements I’ve ever gotten.
The ones that never offered me free drugs in the street.
Never even got the chance to just say no.
The Elvis impersonator mopping the floors in the airport.
In college, I worked in our theater department’s box office. My job mostly involved taking orders over the phone during the day and helping with the ticket window or concessions booth during nighttime shows, but occasionally we would get walk-up customers at the window during the day too. Mostly students and their parents or professors.
One day, two equally short and equally pot-bellied men walked up to the window. Clearly father and son - one looked to be in his 70s and the other in his 40s. They were dressed like a couple characters out of a mob movie - fedoras, sunglasses, gold rings, the works. And they spoke like it too. When it came time to pay for their tickets, the younger guy whipped out a HUGE roll of bills. If it weren’t a random weekday morning and they weren’t clearly related, I would have sworn they were doing a bit or method acting. I still wonder who they were and why they were going to see a college production of Legally Blonde.
Looking for legal representation?
That waitress that asked how I would like my salad cooked instead of how I wanted my steak cooked.
