The eagle scout bit feels like an attempt to make him seem otherwise responsible, but I know plenty and we did some dumb shit with fire and fireworks growing up. Also, you have to get that before you turn 18. He’s 24 now and a lot can change in that time including access to alcohol.

Probably not the absolute first thing I did, but my first internet memory was downloading the music video for Prodigy’s Breathe. This was pre-napster and I’m pretty sure a 28k modem. Took an hour, was really shitty quality and I’m not even sure if it was the whole video, but it was awesome!

I also have a memory of checking out an rpg game from the aol home page and being really confused why it was just people talking, thinking we were waiting for the game to start and eventually just logging out

Are they otherwise my potential offspring? I’ll say no for now to get around the moral dilemma. Let’s say my body just produces a food product and it happens to take the form and flavor of a chicken egg for some reason. I’d definitely try them. Feels like I’d have to do something with them so they aren’t pilling up, rotting and filling up landfills. Are other people making these things too? Jesus, what a mess! I guess we could trade to make it a little less weird, but I’m sure capitalism would find some fucked up way to charge us for trading them. Either way feels like a conservation of energy problem. I’m not subsisting on these things. So I guess I’m eating them for fun? Most people will probably end up getting bored about it or have a weird fetish for it. I don’t see much of an in between